Pops Fernandez: The way she feels inside

September 2002

If there is one thing that superstar Pops Fernandez would rather not discuss, it is her current lovelife. After her fairytale marriage to co-superstar Martin Nievera had gone awry, their separation so controversial it tore their fans apart, Pops has begun dating again. The man in question is reportedly uninvolved in showbusiness, but other than that, Pops refuses to divulge anything else.

"I don't want to discuss something that's not there yet, you know what I mean. I'd rather keep that to myself. But yes, I am going out. I think that's the beauty of being free and being on your own -- you have the option and you have choices," the pop diva explains.

She also denies rumors that she has been dating relentlessly to fill the void in her life.

"It's not like I spend 90 percent of my life doing that!" she laughs. "All the other men I've been linked with are just friends, and I have gone out with them probably once or twice in a barkada type of gimmick. It's just that when people see us, they put meaning to it. Since I'm single again, people are probably just interested to know what I'm up to. Of course, I'm available, but I'm still very much a working woman and my priorities are my family and my work."

Her much-publicized split from husband Martin Nievera has undoubtedly been a life-altering frustration for the pop diva. But if love comes a-knocking on her door once more, Pops believes it would be wiser on her part to accept or reject the guy based on his merits, rather than on her own pre-conceived notions about the perfect life partner.

"It's not fair to choose by comparing a person to an ideal that exists only in the mind, or to another person for that matter. It's really up to how I feel when the time comes," she explains.

She adds: "He has to be someone who will be better than me."

Life and all its ups and downs has dramatically changed the superstar. She's stronger and more assiduous, more circumspect and, as her most ardent fans have noticed, certainly a lot tougher when it comes to affairs of the heart.

But it has also, by her own admission, made her more cognizant of love's power and her own capacity to overcome adversities.

"Oh I still believe in the whole romantic part of love, " she says with a smile, "but you can't base your happiness on somebody else. You have to be happy by yourself. Remember that famous ' you complete me' line from Jerry Maguire? I realized that nothing could be farther from the truth. I found out that a person has to complete himself first to be happy. People being what they are, can hurt you and cause you unhappiness. But if you're happy on your own, you can give happiness in return. If you love yourself, you will be in a better position to initiate and give love."

Her experiences and profound thoughts on the subject of love were incorporated in her latest album, "The Way I Feel Inside," a collection of light romantic tunes that is reportedly one of the most personal projects she has ever done.

The old pop favorite "The Way I Feel Inside" opens and closes the album. Sandwiched in between are eleven new compositions that speak about the various stages of being in love. Pops sings about broken hearts, new loves, love that was not meant to be, questions about loving and losing and all the other emotions associated with romantic relationships.

She has also singlemindedly continued to pursue her acting career, starring in "Linlang" as a betrayed wife who fights tooth and nail to regain her identity. In "Gusto Ko Nang Lumigaya," a whodunit thriller, she shuffles through a complex web of characters and events to expose a power-hungry criminal. Her performances are what critics might deem daring or bold, definitely a far cry from the usual stuff that Pops would sink her teeth into.

"Let me just make a correction," she insists. "The movies were daring not in the sense that I decided to go 'bold.' The roles were daring in the sense that I tackled more serious characters than the ones I'm used to doing. I want to make that distinction, kasi alam mo naman dito sa amin, pag sinabing daring, they automatically think I have gone bold. When I made up my mind to go back to making movies, I decided to make up for lost time when I concentrated on my TV and music career. These were the first two offers I got, and I thought that they would make an excellent, if surprising, departure from the sweet and sage image that my fans have gotten used to. I'm glad I did them."

Still, her movie "Videoke King" with Robin Padilla is a light romantic comedy, where she portrays a non-singing role opposite Padilla's videoke fanatic.

But the first two films were a challenge, and she felt she needed to take the challenge head-on. "It's better for me to explore all my potential," she explains.

Movie critics have taken note of Pop's surprising emotional range and award-giving entities have already bestowed on her two nominations in a row.

What's next for the actress/pop diva?

Her fans in America will be glad to know that she hasn't forgotten them despite her hectic schedule and the accolades she's been garnering lately.

On September 13, the Philippines Concert Queen will perform at the San Diego Civic Theatre, and on September 14, at the Grand Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles.